Read the full disclosure. So it was really hard for me to come here and to open my soul to the bunch of strangers, but I need to do this because there is no other option for me. I believe that this time i had given a considerable amount of thought and came to the conclusion that divorce would be best for the kids. I have also been through this. I entered into another deep depression. It’s not real pleasant. Like I’ve released one more tiny piece of the big huge honkin’ chip on my shoulder. But the only reason I opened up to the entire world about all of this and told you my very embarrassing story is because I’ve read and heard so many stories similar to my own since being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Does it sound like i had a BP episode? So where to begin…? I had never seen this psychiatrist before so of course she didn’t know my history. When this feeling sets in, it is time to get professional assistance. Not to mention I’m so irritable by the time that you wake up, dear husband, that I greet you with a string of swear words and start our morning off in the land of misery. The specific effects of depression will differ in every relationship, but this is the problem I hear about most often and the one I lived with. The mental illness your spouse suffers with is something that is happening to your entire family. Life was wonderful! I mean, no one else knew. Feeling Lonely & Isolated During the Holidays... Download bp's latest issue instantly to your tablet or smartphone, April lived undiagnosed with bipolar disorder for ten years until 2013. Do you have any advice for me? But she’s a doctor right? Marriage without mental illness, so I’m told, is challenging enough. People with the illness switch back and forth from mania or hypomania (an emotional state of being energetic and gleeful or sometimes aggressive or delusional) to having episodes of depression. Marriage without mental illness, so I’m told, is challenging enough. If at all possible, remove them or yourself (and your children) from the same household. Share on facebook. We immediately connected in many ways on several important issues to us such as music, movies, philosophy, religion, politics, sarcasm, favorite foods, etc. In February 2014 he proposed once more, and on December 24, 2014, we were married once again. Then we got back together. And then finally, after a long, long wait, I got in to see a psychiatrist. Somehow it is thought that we are suffering needlessly only in depression, but we are wildly enjoying the manias. But I can understand why anybody experiencing what I do would see it as an option. It is not your fault, your spouse's or your children's fault. As one writer put it, “Think of what you know about being alive, about pain, about joy. But she’s a doctor right? Why do you stay married to or in a relationship with a bipolar husband or bipolar wife? Well, I really do have problem with my bipolar husband because whenever he has some problem (and lately generally) he is running away from me. So i remarried her. Bipolar divorce. I would say the challenges with bipolar disorder are especially unique. And that is how I felt from December 2011-September 2012. Addiction changes the brain so that willpower alone cannot heal them. Seven years ago the plant at which he worked closed and, at 50 years of age, he had to find new employment. Whether you live with bipolar or love someone who does, you can find comfort, wisdom, and strategies (maybe even a good laugh!) I am not sure if it is trully a bipolar trait, but I do know it is a relationship thing. Anhedonia is the cause of the desire to leave to find a new, more intense life. This eventually led her to learn as much as she could about her diagnosis. Habitual lying is a symptom of many who live with mental illness. Now, here we are, just over a year later from our second marriage to each other and having celebrated our first wedding anniversary. I advocate for both divorce and marriage, and I think you have to choose which is right for you based on your situation. During these times, the normal things you do … (Mind you I was not diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the time). Bipolar disorder is a … Helplessness turns into guilt, which is not an emotion you want to deal with alone. I had no money, no job, no car, no energy, no desire, no force to move me off the couch (where I was sitting reading War & Peace), let alone have enough energy to get a job and get my life back in order (for the umpteenth time). Marriage alone is difficult. If you can, seek counseling and resources that will help you decide what is best for you and your family and how you can take those steps. The medication might not work. Now multiply that by a billion. You have to be ready to sign the papers, divide your assets, coordinate living arrangements, and tell your kids. Share on twitter. But the only reason I opened up to the entire world about all of this and told you my very embarrassing story is because I’ve read and heard so many stories similar to my own since being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was 14. Even trying to take time seems difficult to just do that. Feelings of stress, isolation, and rejection are common among those involved with a bipolar patient. Add bipolar disorder, and you are in for some extra work. So the whole point of my annotated autobiography, a.k.a. Now imagine it’s under water and you can’t breathe and you can’t think and you can’t move and you want to die but you can’t because although you’re under water somehow God has still seen fit to let you continue to breathe. Then I began to see the pattern…. Do not confront your spouse during an argument. However, no one ever talks about the personal hell bipolar spouses go through during episodes. It was hell on earth. Their anger may have nothing to do with you. Your email address will not be published. I have read all about bipolar and symptoms, etc. I wished I would have had the advice you have given in this blog many years ago. Through detox, residential rehabilitation (I recommend long-term in-patient stays to begin with), step-by-step meetings, and a lot of support, your spouse could be successful in recovery and managing their mental illness. Try these tips for coping with the inevitable mood swings. As a teenager she was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, anorexia, and bulimia. My husband was diagnosed with bipolar over 30 years ago. Choose a good time to initiate a conversation with your spouse about his/her actions that you are concerned about and/or are having a … I wished I would have had the advice you have given in this blog many years ago. (Mind you I was not diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the time). Here are some warning signs to look out for. It is not a moral failing on their part, and it was not caused by anything you did. What can I say? For the sake of brevity and in order not to attempt a sequel to War & Peace, I will lay down the bare bones here: I met my husband nine years ago when I moved to New York state. I want to give up because I feel like he knows I'll take him back that's why it's so easy to do it. No matter what, remember this about your loved one’s addiction: More than anything else, keep in mind that just with mental illness, being an addict is not a choice. I not only want those with bipolar to know that they’re not alone in their experiences, but I also want their spouses and ex-spouses to know that they’re not alone in their experiences. His relationship feels loveless because he can hardly feel at all. People who suffer from bipolar are sometimes notoriously irritable, fussy and verbally abusive. By autumn however, I was feeling good again and had moved in with an old boyfriend. I didn’t know. He was a lovely caring person but mania turned him into a cruel and mean man who only seemed to care about himself and his needs. OMG THANK YOU for sharing your story. Ofcourse lockdown and 4 kids didnt make things any easier. Walk away when the spouse is in a rage and even go to the car if you need to drive away from it. Required fields are marked *. This post may be sponsored or contain affiliate links, which means we may receive a small commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link. 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